Solution to the Case of the Supreme Court Showdown
ENCYCLOPEDIA RECOGNIZED Bugs' recitation as the opening of the Declaration
of Independence, not the preamble to the Constitution, which begins, "We
the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union…"
Confronted with his error, Bugs tried to make a break for it but was tripped
up by Justice Ginsburg—displaying some cat-like reflexes—and quickly
pounced on by Sally. Together, with all the justices, Encyclopedia and Sally
went to Bugs' hotel room where they found the briefcase with Encyclopedia's
written opinion inside. The briefcase also held an inch-thick stack of brochures
for retirement homes in the Virgin Islands, four years' worth of Playboy's "Girls
of the Ivy League" issues and some choice Hello Kitty collectibles, all
of which Justice Scalia swore he'd never seen before.
Unfortunately, it all happened too late, as Al Gore had already conceded in front of a national television audience, Tom Brokaw had declared that partisan rancor is dead and millionaires and billionaires everywhere had begun salivating at the prospect of four years of a Bush administration. "I guess we should all just keep this between us, then," Justice Scalia said, glaring at everyone in the room.
In the spirit of reconciliation, President George W. Bush took everyone out for ice cream after his inauguration and appointed Encyclopedia to the bipartisan Commission on Healing, Cooperation and the Possible Existence of Unicorns.