“A laptop computer missing from the State Department
contained thousands of classified documents, including highly
sensitive information about the sources and methods of U.S.
intelligence collection, State Department officials said yesterday.”
– Washington Post, April 22, 2000
Well, not thousands.
Theirs
Aldrich Ames
Klaus Fuchs
NOTE: there may be others
Ours Demi Moore
El Duque
Stephen Jay Gould
Charlotte Church
Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan (D-New York)
Mia Hamm and the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team
NOTE: probably should recruit some more
Monday:
Mike
Tuesday: Julie
Wednesday: free shred
Thursday: family day
Friday: Secret Shred Santa
(84.15mhz)
Sting
= Gordon Sumner!!!
Bob Dylan = Robert Zimmerman
Captain Kangaroo = Bob Keeshan
stick bugs = just bugs
zebras = tigers
Radium
Red
Plutonium Peach
Luminous Lavender
Geiger-Counter Green
Bomb Blue
Ritchie
Valens
Michael Hutchence
Dana Plato
Charles Schulz
idealism
Matthew Perry (spring 2001)
peeing
on shrubbery
chewing on slippers
being so darn cute
tons of murders
"Boy
Meets World": drugs are bad
"The West Wing": government is awesome
Sisqo’s "The Thong Song": China deserves most-favored-nation
status
‘N Sync’s "Bye Bye Bye": Parting can be difficult
Francis Scott Key’s "Star Spangled Banner": America
is a great, glorious land
Jimi Hendrix’s "Star Spangled Banner": Stay in school
(#78:
"What did Jackie say to the underwater munitions expert?"
"The First Lady was unaware of this operation.")
"shorty"
– snub-nosed Hauer submachine gun
"in the hiz-ous" – inside the hiz-ous
"808" – eight hundred plus eight
"blunt" – direct and to-the-point
"5-0" – police!
Tom
DeLay’s secret wives
John Kasich’s vagina fetish
Dennis Hastert’s loneliness
Game cheats to Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater
free
subscription to Hustler
waffle-iron he was going to donate to charity anyway
