"US
weekly has found that, contrary to our report last week, Tom Cruise
remains an active and committed member of the Church of Scientology
and that he has neither said nor hinted at anything negative about
Warner Bros.' forthcoming film 'Battlefield Earth.' We stand corrected."
—US weekly, May 15, 2000
Contrary
to our report, John Travolta did not say of "Battlefield
Earth," "Man, I need an alcoholic beverage. This movie
blows." What he said was, "Man-animal will never get
leverage on a Psychlo." We will have an update when we figure
out what this means.
Contrary
to our report in the last issue, Tom Cruise does not stand on a
phone book whenever he and Nicole Kidman are photographed together.
Instead, she stands in a hole.
In yesterday's
edition we reported that Kirstie Alley hasn't felt good about herself
since "Cheers." We have since learned that she wakes up
every morning grateful for a new beginning and for her daily counseling
session at the Scientology Celebrity Center.
When we
said, "Anyone who likes 'Dharma and Greg' ought to have his
head examined," we were not specifically endorsing psychiatry.
We apologize for any distress this misunderstanding caused Jenna
Elfman.
We recently
wrote that Giovanni Ribisi regrets having played a retarded man
in "The Other Sister." We meant "The Mod Squad."
Yesterday
we reported that Mimi Rogers and Anne Archer don't have careers.
We stand corrected: Anne Archer has a career.
Contrary
to our report, Greta van Susteren is not an Operating Thetan (Level
III). She is a legal analyst for CNN (Level IV).
Our use
of the word "enjoyed" in the statement, "audiences
have not enjoyed a Juliette Lewis movie since 'From Dusk Till Dawn,'"
was unintentionally misleading. We should have used "seen."
In a profile
of Isaac Hayes, we wrote that he worries that "South Park"
is giving kids too many engrams, or bad memories. We want to apologize
to Mr. Hayes, who has since informed us that he is nothing but ecstatic
over the success of "South Park," the fruits of which
he generously shares with such worthy charities as the L. Ron Hubbard
Center for Learning and Growing.
We would
like to retract last month's report that Priscilla Presley believes
her first husband is still alive. She doesn't, not anymore at least.
We recently
alleged that the following passage was incomprehensible nonsense:
A
young girl, with sonic recall, but with extended hearing and such
a complete imbalance of the endocrine system that she had become
an old woman at twenty-two, was worked for seventy-five hours
before she contacted anything in the basic area. This is almost
incredible but it happened. In a patient with sonic shut-off and
off his time track, seventy-five hours of work would just about
get the wheels greased. But this girl, having sonic recall, should
have been well on the road to being clear and she had yet to touch
basic-basic.
Actually,
it is a passage from page 291 of "Dianetics." We stand
corrected.
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