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Ever
since New Year's Day, [children/sad-eyed
businessmen]
of all ages have been flocking to [IMAX
theatres/the
Booby Trap on Airport Road]
to witness the long-anticipated return of Fantasia, now appearing
in [general
theatrical release/three
shows a night].
Fantasia's original debut [more
than a half-century/eight
months]
ago was hailed by many as a watershed event in the history of [feature-length
animation/couch
dancing].
Sadly [Mr.
Disney's labor of love/this
naughty, naughty lady]
turned out to be a [box-office
flop/volatile
speed freak],
leading some observers to suggest that the viewing public was not
yet ready for such experiments in [high-minded
animation/Bangkok-style
pyrotechnics].
Featuring [seven
new animated sequences/something
upward of a D-cup]
and [live-action
narration by such celebrities as Steve Martin and Itzhak Perlman/several
fresh tattoos],
the [newly
re-imagined/surgically
reinvigorated]
Fantasia nonetheless remains true to the past by wedding [classical/thumping
house]
music with state-of-the-art [animation
techniques/pole-swinging
acrobatics].
The restoration of ["The
Sorcerer's Apprentice"/the
180-degree booty-slide]
starring [Mickey
Mouse/her
booty]
casts the same spell as the original. And far from detracting from
the earlier magic, the addition of [new
vignettes/hot
girl-on-girl action]
helps draw the viewer into a [world
of pure imagination/V.I.P
lounge with floor-to-ceiling carpeting].
Some critics, of course, have lamented that the much-loved "Nutcracker"
segment has not been retained. Others have argued that the new musical
selections leave something to be desired, the work of [George
Gershwin/C+C
Music Factory]
having become hopelessly passé. Nevertheless, the re-tooled
version is well worth the [price
of admission/$8
rum and Cokes],
providing [children/sad-eyed
businessmen]
of all ages with a welcome escape from their lives of [quiet
desperation/quiet
desperation].
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All Rights Reserved.
Modern Humorist is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
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