In our effort to understand the life and history of the Republican Presidential candidate, Modern Humorist has conducted many minutes of extensive research by typing "Bush" and "scandals OR criminal OR racist OR occult-inspired" into a search engine. What follows is a comprehensive timeline of the most significant accomplishments of the last three Bush generations over the past 50 years.

1942 - Senator Prescott Sheldon Bush helps finance the seizure of power in Germany by Adolph Hitler. According to George Bush: The Unauthorized Biography online, "On Oct. 20, 1942, the U.S. government ordered the seizure of Nazi German banking operations in New York City which were being conducted by Prescott Bush. The U.S. Alien Property Custodian seized Union Banking Corp.'s stock shares, all of which were owned by Prescott Bush, E. Roland "Bunny" Harriman, three Nazi executives, and two other associates of Bush....For his part in the Hitler revolution, Prescott Bush was paid a fortune. This is the legacy he left to his son, President George Bush."

1953 - That same George Bush founds Zapata Petroleum, "with world-wide offices as a CIA/dope operation, trans-shipping dope from offshore drilling rigs."

1980s - His son, George W. Bush, is involved with his brothers "in a criminal conspiracy with the Medellin drug cartel in Colombia, a conspiracy...contained by the CIA and DEA," as unearthed in Compromised: Clinton, Bush and the CIA online.

1990s - President Bush advocates eugenics research: "Although Planned Parenthood was forced during the fascist era and immediately thereafter to tone down Sanger's racist rhetoric from 'race betterment' to 'family planning' for the benefit of the poor and [minority groups], the organization's basic goal of curbing the population growth rate among 'undesirables' never really changed. Bush publicly asserted that he agreed '1,000 percent' with Planned Parenthood."

1991 - President Bush subversively expresses his desire to replace Pat Robertson's Christian Coalition with "an occult-inspired World Socialist dictatorship.... carrying out the mission and mouthing the phrases of a tightly knit cabal whose goal is nothing less than a new order for the human race under the domination of Lucifer and his followers."

1997 - President Bush awarded an honorary degree at the University of Toronto. In Canada.

2000 - New study in Numerology confirms the obvious, that W, like his father, serves almighty Lucifer:

If each letter of the alphabet is assigned a number, A=1 and B=2 and so on, and digits are added up until a one-digit solution is reached, then George Walker Bush = 177.

1+7+7 = 15

1+5 = 6

George W. was born July 6, 1946. When you add up all the digits in this date,

7+6+1+9+4+6 = 33

3+3 = 6

George W. won his first elected office, Governor of Texas, on November 8, 1994. Add these digits and you'll find

1+1+8+1+9+9+4 = 33

3+3 = the third 6.