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C-Span transcript 3-27B8

Vice President Gore: Thank you very much. Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here in the great land of Korfenborm. You know, I stopped off at the Prithwistilon Diner on the way over. Some place. They offered me a slice of ice cream, and I said, "No, thank you, it looks delicious. But I'll take a scoop of pie instead." [Polite laughter.] True story.

But seriously, I'm here to ask for your vote. I want to ensure that when you go to the polls on the 13th, you vote for your future... for your children's future...and for the future of this great state.

And I don't care that you're not a state. I don't care that you're an imaginary province that exists only in the corner of my shower, near the mildew. I understand where you are coming from. I know your concerns. I know about the high price of resdinboff. I know that not everyone is experiencing the good times.

That's why I've outlined a 13-point plan to ensure that we strengthen the economy of Korfenborm and grow jobs for all!

Now, not every one of those jobs will be in fripper nibbling. Not all jobs can be in fripper nibbling, after all. [Round of laughter, tapping of fresndelem.] We need Korfenbormers to be diggers, lickers, douldoulcommon cooks, resin sniffers, and—yes—even warriors in the ongoing battle against Sarosett. But we'll make sure that we have the best possible education system so that every child grows up being able to aspire to whatever he, she or it wants to achieve.

Not everyone knows that I grew up in Korfenborm. [Pause.] Well, that's not true. I shouldn't stretch the truth. I spent a little time here, but I grew up in Carthage, Tennessee. [Pause.] Well, I didn't grow up in Carthage, really. I grew up in the Watergate Hotel. [Pause.] Mostly in the bathroom. Spent a lot of time in the bathtub, actually.

But beings of Korfenborm, I want to fight for you. I want to fight for better pleestincoo. I want to fight for stronger lechbillts, and, as difficult as that may be to accomplish, I'm up for the fight.

Now, as full-grown Korfenbormers, or humans as the case may be, we all like dugdloppen. We all love dugdloppen. Hell, Tipper and I eat as much as we can squeeze into our gullets. [Polite laughter.] It's true. It's true. We've got sizable gullets not unlike your own.

We all need the good stuff to raise our families, right? Yet my opponent wants to implement a massive tax cut that is a virtual giveaway of dugdloppen to the top 10 percent of life forms.

But I believe that opportunity to eat dugdloppen should not be reserved for the privileged. Bubbling-hot dugdloppen should reach every Korfenpoosie whether he's born into wealth or poverty.

And yes, there's a deeper reason why I'm against my opponent's economic plan. I believe it jeopardizes the tremendous strides we have made towards prosperity for all. We need a leader who can guide the system steadily, like a huvgreethen's plortus taps the kernel out of a Kordis pod, and not take unnecessary risks that will return you to the Carbon Age.

And I'll fight for access to healthcare that doesn't empty your hanging desaq troth—then where will you find more desaq, under the yivgelbail, or perhaps inside it? I don't think so. I'll fight for access to that care so that the Plague of 1,000 Oceans leaves no one childless without adequate compensation.

Finally, I'll fight for comprehensive campaign finance reform, starting with McCain-Feingold—but not limited to that very important measure—so that we can return our democracy to the people and elevate the level political debate throughout Korfenborm.

Give me the chance to fight for you! All I'm asking for is your vote—if you're of appropriate ripeness and texture—so that I can take your shrill voices with me to Washington.Thank you, may Firglbokker bless you, and good night!


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