Apple:
Mac OS XXX
(Exhibition Hall 3A)
Take an exciting sneak preview at the adult version of Mac’s
new operating system, featuring POSIX file system semantics,
NFS file sharing, and hot lesbo action.
Napster:
Macster 6.0 (3B)
A must-have for the e-music fan, this groundbreaking upgrade
actually enters artists’ homes and steals CDs from
their personal collections.
Electronic Arts:
SimMacWorld 2000 (1B)
From the makers of SimCity and The Sims, SimMacWorld 2000
challenges the user to navigate virtual exhibits, amass
worthless handouts, and gaze longingly at Steve Jobs during
his virtual keynote, all the while learning about exciting
new technologies and meeting down-to-earth and interesting
sales representatives. (Hi, Pete!)
ViraCo:
5000 Viruses (Galleria)
This CD-ROM contains over 5000 extremely exciting and damaging
computer viruses! Do not buy this.
Dell:
iDOS (1A)
For the true PC die-hard, this new iMac clone runs entirely
on MS-DOS. The elegant square machine comes in four flavors:
beige, khaki, off-white and tan.
Microsoft:
Entourage Bug Fix Suite (1A)
For the first time, Microsoft has released a set of three
CD-ROMs containing hundreds of bug fixes for one of its
applications—before the application has even shipped. |
 |
eKervork:
Virtual Suicide (3D)
While real suicide is scary and the absence of suicide is
boring, Virtual Suicide is a safe and easy alternative.
(Now automatically erases your Minesweeper top scores!)
Hewlett-Packard:
PrinterJam 2.0 (North Pavillion)
Laser printers are jammed 40 to 60 percent of the time anyway;
why not buy one that won’t keep you guessing? With
this permanently jammed printer, you can shift your energies
to more rewarding projects, like hand-copying everything
you see on the screen.
Apple:
Steve Jobs’ Beard (3C)
Come see the hair that once belonged to one of Macworld’s
most important chins: the one attached to the face of the
head of Steve Jobs' body.
Emagine:
Kid E. Komputer (1B)
This new machine, designed entirely by parents concerned
about their children being exposed to sex and violence on
the Internet, does not turn on.
eSoft:
TheMadCompressor
(North Pavillion)
RunningLowOnDiskSpace?SoWere
WeUntilWeCreatedTheMadComp-
ressorWhichGetsRidOfWastefulBla-
nkSpacesInYourDocuments.You’ll
NeverNoticeAnyDifference.
NOTE: For those of you who brought your machines
in today for the scheduled iMac beauty pageant, that event
has been canceled because it was totally stupid. |
