| WHEN
SURVIVORSUCKS.COM
went poking around in the source code of the official CBS
Web site and discovered images that revealed who won "Survivor,"
we couldn't help but admire their ingenuity, their subversiveness
and all the free publicity they got. So we did some digging
of our own. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT WE FOUND,
DO NOT LOOK AT THIS PAGE. |
Big Brother
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Brittany
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Cassandra
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Curtis
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Karen
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George
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Jamie
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Jordan
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Josh
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Chicken
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William
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| Who's going
to win? The virgin? The psycho? The closet case? Which closet
case? Fortunately, our snooping has revealed that the winner
is indeed the most appealing member of the cast. |
Reality Shows
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The
1900 House
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Road Rules
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Big Brother
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The Real World
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Survivor
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Inside the
Actors Studio
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| Fire represents
life. Sluggish ratings or a cast of dullards represents
death. The tribe has spoken. |
Clue
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Mrs.
White
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Miss Scarlet
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Prof. Plum
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Mrs. Peacock
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Col. Mustard
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Mr. Green
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| Colonel
Mustard’s alliance worked for a while, but in the end
it’s all about who’s in the Ballroom, with the
lead pipe. |
Presidential
Election
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Pat
Buchanan
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George W.
Bush
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Al Gore
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Alan Keyes
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Ralph Nader
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John Hagelin
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| That's what
happens when people forget to call the 900 number. |
Powerball
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lead for 02 13 26 27 49 – 04 was squandered during
the maggot-eating competition. |
Dot-coms
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APBnews.com
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Boo.com
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CDnow.com
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Digital
Entertainment Network
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Teen
Slut Warehouse
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Modern
Humorist
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| Venture
capital money dries up fast in the hot Pulau Tiga sun. |
Lafayette Elementary
School's Surprise Lunch Day
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Chicken
chow mein
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Meat loaf
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Pizza
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Pork roll
sandwich
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Spaghetti
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| Smart contestants
should brown-bag it anyway. |
Custody of Timmy
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Dad
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Mom
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Grandma and
Grandpa
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The State
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| A lesson
for Timmy’s family: they do hold the lawnmower incident
against you. |
How You’re
Going to Die
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In
your sleep
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Bad
clams
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Grizzly
bear
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Homicide
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Suicide
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Truck
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| Your only
hope: avoid Alaska. And circuses. |
More reality-based humor:
Big Brother: Life
in the Fishbowl
Survivor: The Urban
Edition
|
