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WHEN THE NATIONAL WORLD WAR II MEMORIAL is completed, it will be the last major monument on the Washington, DC, Mall.

Or will it?

Yes, it will. But if it weren't, the next one would surely pay tribute to those brave Americans who, despite remaining on the homefront, managed to give the last full measure of their devotion.

August 16, 1776
George Whitsell, age 27

Greenwich, Connecticut
Pecked to death by crows in the family cornfield while whirling dervishly in his mother's Sunday gingham.

February 2, 1812
William Gaines, age 24

Frederick, Maryland
A conscientious objector on the grounds that his religion forbids the wearing of pants, Gaines, a blacksmith, sustains an emasculating and fatal injury while pounding his anvil.

July 22, 1863
Nathaniel Rollins

Boston, Massachusetts, age 19
Bad shellfish.

Late March, 1918
Douglas Hanover, age 23

Chicago, Illinois
His equilibrium ruined after piercing his eardrum with an icepick, Hanover falls to his death from a steep curb.

January 7, 1944
Harold Roderick, age 18

New York, New York
Severely myopic, Roderick is killed when he attempts to tie a yellow ribbon around the 6 train.

June 12, 1951
Arthur Spreckler, age 29

Fargo, North Dakota
A chronic bedwetter, Spreckler drowns during a nap.

August 16, 1969
Bernie Zimmerman, age 28

Woodstock, New York
Zimmerman takes the brown acid.

March 12, 1990
Jeffery Trason, age 25

Atlanta, Georgia
Electrocuted when he tries to climb into his television set to be closer to Christiane Amanpour.

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