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This week in Los Angeles the Democrats will be attending dozens of receptions, dinners, luncheons, pool parties, brunches and sleepovers. Modern Humorist has mixed 100% True Democratic Convention Gatherings with 100% Fake Democratic Convention Gatherings, just to confuse you. In each list below, choose the event that's happening in L.A. and not in our heads.

Salute to Irish Americans
Jews! Aren't They Great?

Yay for Black People
Kiss a Homosexual for UNICEF

Tribute to Women Elected Officials Who Lead Too Much
Tribute to Women Elected Officials and the Women Who Elect Them
Tribute to Women Unelected Officials and the Women Who Refuse to Elect Them
Tribute to Women Elected Officials from Mars
My Electorate Has Two Mommies: A Tribute to California's Female Senators

Rising Stars Lunch
Evening Stars Dinner
Falling Stars Stand Around and Wonder Why No One's Paying Attention To Us

An Afternoon in Casablanca
An Evening in Never Never Land
A Mid-Morning Jaunt to Fresno

DNC American Bandstand Brunch
DNC Soul Train Late Night
Yo! DNC Raps!
DNC Lunch With the Solid Gold Dancers
DNC Dance Fever Pancake Supper

Late Night with the Democratic Governors' Association
Very Late Night with the Democratic Governors' Association
The Democratic Governors' Association Suggests Going Up to Its Room for a Drink
Early Morning with the Democratic Governors' Association, Featuring Sneaking Out Before the Democratic Governors' Association Wakes Up

Picnic for Teenage Mothers
Fun Day for At-Risk Kids
Playtime for Crack Babies

Filipino Democrats of California Welcome to Los Angeles–A Reception
Filipino Democrats of California Please Remember to Carry Your ID at All Times–A Reminder
Filipino Democrats of California Pull Over to the Curb and Keep Your Hands on the Steering Wheel

Koreatown Street Barbecue
Little Tokyo Tofu Festival
Chinatown Bok Choy and Riblet Carnival
West Beverly Wheatgrass Gala

Old Republican Welcoming Reception
New Democrat Welcoming Reception
Traditional Democrat Get the Fuck Out Reception

Bank of America Reception
Wells Fargo Reception
Fort Knox Reception
Honestly, Anyone With Piles and Piles of Cash Reception

Third Annual Paul Tsongas Memorial Speedboat Race
Fourth Annual Ron Brown Memorial Golf Tournament
Seventh Annual Vince Foster Memorial Bowl-A-Thon
First Annual JFK Jr. Memorial 10K Fun Run

Women’s Event 2000–Power Lunch
Women’s Event 2000–Sewing Circle
Women's Event 2000–High Tea
Women’s Event 2000–Baby Shower

Blacks in Entertainment and Telecommunications Partying with a Purpose
Blacks in Sports and Aerospace Partying with a Purpose
Blacks in Domestic Service and Insurance Partying with a Purpose

DSCC Convention Kick-off Reception
DSCC Convention Fumbled Reception


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