Agreements reached: Smoked gouda to be included on bargaining table cheese tray.

Demands not yet satisfied:

• Head shots must be increased 10 percent, to 8.8" x 11".
• “Wassssuuup?” will now count as 10 lines, rather than a sound effect.
• Double-scale for saying, “It’s not Head and Shoulders. It’s new and improved Head and Shoulders.”
• Lower burden of proof for "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" to reasonable doubt it's not butter.
• Adequate compensation for auditions in which casting director says, “What the hell was I thinking?” “What the hell were you thinking?” or “Okay, send your daughter in.”
• Complimentary dried smoked pig ear on set at all times (Taco Bell Chihuahua only).
• Overhaul of voice-over pay structure. For some reason, under the current system, 50 percent of wages are automatically garnished to James Earl Jones.
• No more use of the word “garnished” during contract talks. Most of us have to say that enough during the dinner shift.
• Option to cold cock any director who, during cereal commercial shoot, utters the phrase, “I need a little more Adam Sandler.”
• We will not, under any circumstances, share a dressing room with an animated character.
• The right to sing show tunes on the picket line, even after the strike is settled.
• Additional employer contributions to union health plan for coverage of collagen and St. John's Wort.
• Option to say, “I'm Tim, I'll be your waiter this evening, and I'm seeking representation.” Even if we are not seeking representation.
• Twenty percent over scale if script calls for use of invented adjectives such as “lemonrific” or “minivantastic.” (This item is non-negotiablicious.)
• No cracks about Charlton Heston's hairpiece, in support of our union brothers in Local 796 — Artificial Turf Layers.
• You break the strike, you bought the strike.