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IS IT POSSIBLE
for AOL chatrooms to be scarier than they already are? In anticipation of Halloween, we went online, turned off the lights and turned up the frights. What you are about to read are actual transcripts, edited slightly for readability. (Our comments are the ones in red.)

Act I: The Chatroom of E-Montillado



Whatever10697423: yep
CassChrs: lol,lol,lol,lol,lol
FullShot: your mom doesnt seem to think im a fag
Whatever10697423: haha
FullShot: especially when she came over last night
Fortunato14: My friend Montresor217 said to meet him here to discuss wine
Thesweetestguy66: well full i coulda been ur daddy but the monkey beat me up the stairs
CassChrs: hehe
Whatever10697423: haha
Fortunato14: Has he been here? I'm a little late
C4andN2: Hey everyone, wassup?
Thesweetestguy66: hey full I gotta 45 and a shovel im sure no one would miss u
C4andN2: any nice guys in here?
Thesweetestguy66: yeah i can be nice ocasionally
Fortunato14: My, but it's cold in here
Thesweetestguy66: specially to sweet aldies
Fortunato14: Whew...I definitely had too much to drink tonight
FullShot: my 99 cougar is sittin outside
Thesweetestguy66: cougar what is it some kinda bike?
CassChrs: yeah
Thesweetestguy66: cuz ur dumbass wouldnt know what a real cougar looks like
Fortunato14: Well, I can't wait around all night him to show... Good bye
FullShot: dont get mad cuz yall cant see over the steering wheel
CR4ZY9irl: HI ANY 13 OR 14 MALES THAT WANNA TALK?
Thesweetestguy66: not with ur girls head in my lap
Fortunato14: Hey—
CassChrs: sweet is goin off on full
Fortunato14: I can't get out!
CR4ZY9irl: HI
Cali1489: hey whats up....
CR4ZY9irl: NUTTIN
Fortunato14: This is crazy, how do you get out of one of these chat rooms?
CassChrs: hit the x
Fortunato14: I did that
FullShot: the pic i have has a better looking girl in it then you will ever get
Fortunato14: Maybe my mouse is frozen
CR4ZY9irl: HEHE
Thesweetestguy66: the pic u have?
Thesweetestguy66: so lemme guess
Thesweetestguy66: u got the pic some lotion and ur hand ready
CR4ZY9irl: HOW IS EVERYONE TONIGHT
Fortunato14: That's not it
FullShot: my pic dumb ass
Fortunato14: What's going on?
Thesweetestguy66: full's gotta full night ahead
Fortunato14: Montresor must've sabotaged my computer somehow
CR4ZY9irl: A/S/CHECK
ARED1OK: 45m
Fortunato14: Dear God, I'll go mad in here!
CassChrs: yall are old
DREAM0U812: 34/m/michigan
Thesweetestguy66: so u back on the job full?
Fortunato14: For the love of God, Montresor, let me out!
CR4ZY9irl: FORTUNATO CALM DOWN

Next: Dial IM for Murder!

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