AL GORE: George?
GEORGE BUSH: (warmly) Ralph!
GORE: Uh
no, Al Gore again. We spoke a few minutes ago? About the concession
thing?
BUSH: Oh, yeah
sure, uh-huh.
GORE: Right. Um
. Boy, how weird is that that a dead guy could get elected to the Senate?
BUSH: A which guy?
GORE: Carnahan. He got elected to the Senate, but he's dead. Boy, this election sure is weird, isn't it? I mean like lotsa crazy things goin' on. Like you never know what'll happen from one moment to the next! Rapid changes taking place every minute that really make you think
BUSH: Hold on, okay? (clicks call waiting) I'm back. Gore's on the other line, so listen I asked around, and you can sink a Rubbermaid bucket if you put at least twenty pounds of ballast in it. Can you get someone to that church with, um, a cannonball? Or maybe rocks? They got rocks in Florida, Jeb?
GORE: Uh, George, it's still Al.
BUSH: (silence)
GORE: What do you need to sink a Rubbermaid bucket for? You goin' fishin'?
BUSH: Look, are you callin' for a reason, because I was right in the middle of Psalm 18
(rattling of whiskey glass against bottle, pouring sound)
GORE: Well yeah, George, the thing is, well, I said some things to you earlier
Not lies, or even exaggerations, but I regret having said them. And I'd like to take them back.
BUSH: (swallowing)
Well Al, there are always elephants of the past we wish we
could change, we wish we could do better. Being a proper role
model, and that. Restoring dignity. Past now, though. We're
new people.
GORE: Oh forget all that
George, I take back my concession.
BUSH: (sputtering) What? You cant! Those people voted for Buchanan fair and square. Its not my fault theyre all half-blind.
GORE: What are you talking about?
BUSH: (pause)
GORE: Okay, then. Bye.
BUSH: (pause)
GORE: (pause)
BUSH: (pause)
GORE: You hang up first.
BUSH: (phone clatters to the floor, glass breaks)
Dial tone.