Try to escape using any routes possible
such as a pretense of illness or a forgotten appointment.
If trapped, don't panic. Fear causes a faster
breathing rate which uses up oxygen quickly–oxygen
you will need to drown out the movie’s dialogue.
Cover your face, especially
the eye and ear area, with a scarf dampened
with water or vinegar. If your hands are free, use
them to cover your ears firmly. Chant rhythmic nonsense
syllables at a moderate volume.
After 142 minutes, it should be safe to check the
television screen.
If you still see or hear any signs of the movie
(for example, a reference to a box of chocolates),
re-assume the protective position described above.
If
your significant other thinks that "Forrest Gump"
is a great movie,
IMMEDIATELY leave the vicinity with all your belongings.
Do not return for valuables or forgotten items.
Cover your facewith a
scarf dampened with vinegar.
