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FADE IN:
INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY, I THINK
PRESIDENT BARTLET and LEO MCGARRY are all swirly.
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BARTLET
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Leo, I'm going to require your assistance.
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LEO
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Yes, sir, is it--
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BARTLET
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The walls, yes.
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LEO
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Because of the--
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BARTLET
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Melting. This is the Oval Office, Leo, the walls shouldn't melt.
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LEO
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No, sir. Which reminds me, Toby wants to launch a missile strike against the green ducks in his briefcase.
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BARTLET
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That's insane! Toby's the communications director, he can't launch a missile strike. Have J.C. do it.
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LEO
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You mean C.J.?
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BARTLET
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I mean Jesus Christ. He's been hiding under my desk all morning.
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LEO
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I beg your pardon, sir, but why is the son of God hiding under your desk?
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BARTLET
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I imagine he's afraid of the walls.
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LEO
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Because of the--
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BARTLET
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Melting. This is the Oval... Say, is it just me or is our conversation even more elliptical than usual?
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Leo giggles uncontrollably and becomes a being of pure light. This is sooo cool.
INT. HALLWAY – I HAVE NO SENSE OF TIME
SAM, JOSH and TOBY are walking quickly, but never seem to get anywhere..
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JOSH
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All I’m saying is, you can’t launch a missile strike at invisible green ducks. Not without doing some polling.
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TOBY
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You weren’t saying that.
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JOSH
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I wasn’t?
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SAM
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You only said you were saying that so it would sound like we were joining this conversation in progress.
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JOSH
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So what was I saying?
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SAM
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Nothing. No one was.
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JOSH
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C’mon, we don’t exist before the camera’s on?
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SAM
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That’s what I’m saying.
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JOSH
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Wow. That’s heavy.
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TOBY
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Oh, and one more thing: they’re not invisible.
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SAM
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They’re green.
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TOBY
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Not invisible.
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Josh notices the floor now. I mean, really notices it, for like the first time. The way it’s just always there, each time you put your foot down, there it is.
Suddenly, the green ducks launch a pre-emptive strike.
SMASH CUT TO OPENING CREDITS.
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