Lesson 1: E-mail
Lesson 2: Message Boards and Chatrooms
Lesson 3: Business Communication
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THE INTERNET has changed the way we do business. For example, just a few short years ago, if you had wanted to cover your work area with pornographic pictures that were impossible to get rid of, you would have had to purchase several Hustler magazines, spread them over your desk and jury-rig some sort of system of springs which would cause them to reappear every time you tried to sweep them off your desk. Expensive and time-consuming, to say the least. Nowadays, you can get this effect with literally the click of a button.
In the old pre-information superhighway days, you had to have your customer give you her credit card in person, along with a signature. Now anyone with the most basic computer skills can obtain thousands of working credit card numbers from any e-commerce site with a security hole in its Web server software.
But the efficient world of e-business comes with new rules. Business e-mail in particular can be tricky and any failure to follow the rules can lead to misunderstandings. See if you can see what mistake the writer made in this e-mail:
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To: John
From: Steve
Subject: Received your message
Dear John,
Got your e-mail. In answer to your questions: Yes, I took care of it. Yes, I am. I agree completely. No, I’m sure they won’t. I certainly can’t think of any.
Steve
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If John receives an e-mail like this, he may have no idea what Steve is talking about! Don’t force your correspondent to wade through his "Sent" box trying to figure out what questions you were responding to. You’ll make it much easier for him if you cut and paste the relevant passages from his e-mail into your response. Also, use a descriptive subject line to make the topic of your correspondence clear to him. Here is the e-mail rewritten correctly:
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To: John
From : Steve
Subject: Our illegal business practices
Dear John,
Got your e-mail.
>Have you shredded all the evidence of the illegal business practices
>of our company, such as our use of sweatshops and child labor, price-
>fixing, bid-rigging, bribery and deceptive advertising?
Yes, I took care of it.
>Are you continuing to discriminate on the basis of race, sex, religion,
>and sexual preference?
Yes, I am.
>The FTC can bite me.
I agree completely.
>They’ll never catch us.
No, I’m sure they won’t.
>Unless you can think of some way that they can trace our business
>practices…some way other than subpoenaing our paper documents??
I certainly can’t think of any.
Steve
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One other thing: it’s good business practice to cc all the parties involved or mentioned in a correspondence, so Steve should send a copy of this e-mail to the FTC to make sure everyone’s "in the loop."
Form e-mail can be a bit impersonal, but it is an efficient way to get information to a group of people. When sending a form e-mail to a group, try to keep your message businesslike and short. Take a look at this example and see if you can tell what should be changed:
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To: All New Hires
From: John Doe
Subject: Welcome!
Welcome to XYZ Corporation! We’re glad to have each and every one of you on board. If you have any questions about our comprehensive health coverage, flextime policy, telecommuting arrangement, free on-site daycare, gym, sauna and massage facilities or the free snacks and drinks in the break room, don’t hesitate to ask Sheila.
Sincerely,
John Doe, CEO
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Did you notice that there is something "off" and old-fashioned sounding in the tone of this e-mail? A few simple changes will make it more up-to-date:
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To: All New Hires
From: John Doe
Subject: Layoffs
Welcome to XYZ Corporation! We regret to inform you that your job has been eliminated. A security guard will be by to help you clear out your desk.
Sincerely,
John Doe, CEO
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Just keep these few simple rules in mind and you’ll keep misunderstandings at a minimum and keep your business running smoothly. One other thing to remember: If you’re lucky enough to receive pictures of Anna Kournikova via e-mail, open the attachment immediately, even if you’re at work. Photos like that don’t come around very often! Your boss will understand.
Happy e-mailing!
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Lesson 1: E-mail
Lesson 2: Message Boards and Chatrooms
Lesson 3: Business Communication
More by Martha Keavney:
Mauve Gloves and Manual Typewriters
The Breakfast Table
Spoiled
Copyright 2011 Modern Humorist, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
Modern Humorist is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
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