Chapter 2

In the hallways of the Supreme Court, Encyclopedia and Sally were met by Justice John Paul Stevens. "Thank God you're here, but I'm afraid it's too late."

"What happened?" Encyclopedia asked.

"The decision you wrote for us was in a briefcase that's gone missing from Justice Scalia's office. We needed to render a judgment, so Chief Justice Rehnquist wrote an opinion of his own and got the other lemmings—I mean, justices—in the conservative bloc to go along with it, and at that point all I could do was write a scathing and eloquent dissent."

"Take me to the scene of the crime," Encyclopedia said, his eyes steely and resolved.

In Justice Scalia's chambers, Encyclopedia and Sally saw all the justices, plus one very familiar face.

"Bugs! What’s he doing here?" Sally asked.

Justice Thomas inched forward and spoke, "Young Bugs here is Justice Scalia's nephew. He has shown an interest in government, so he was invited to hear the oral arguments in this most historic and important case."

Sally whispered to Encyclopedia, "Did you see Justice Scalia's lips moving while Justice Thomas was talking?"

Encyclopedia shushed Sally before saying, "Justice Stevens said that a briefcase containing the opinion I wrote was stolen from here yesterday, and Sally and I saw Bugs on TV, carrying a briefcase—"

"Stuff it, Mensa boy," Bugs interjected, "I was here with Uncle Antonin all night memorizing the preamble to the Constitution so I could recite it at the opening of a C-SPAN show about the history of our government."

"I wish I had as much time as Bugs to study the Constitution," Justice Anthony Kennedy mused.

"I can vouch for the lad," Justice Scalia said quickly. "I don't know what happened to that briefcase, but I can assure you Bugs here had nothing to do with its mysterious disappearance. I do hope we find it though, as it held some very important papers related to my memoir." A memoir is a book in which a person reflects on his life and turns the things he did wrong into circumstances beyond his control or avoids mentioning them altogether.

"If you can't trust the word of a Supreme Court justice who has pledged to be fair and impartial in his judgments, who can you trust?" Justice Sandra Day O'Connor said, reconsidering her position on abortion.

Encyclopedia rubbed his chin. "I suppose that’s true," he said. "I guess we'll never know what happened, but I would like to ask Bugs if he could say the preamble to the Constitution for us, just so we can take a moment to remember what it is our democracy stands for."

"Sure thing, Dorklopedia," Bugs said before clearing his throat and speaking in a voice an octave deeper than usual. "When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

"Very moving," Justice O'Connor said, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

"Certainly," Encyclopedia replied, "But right now, in this Court, I move that Bugs Meany is lying. He most definitely did have something to do with that missing briefcase, and I can prove it."