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Check
out our coverage of the
Fall 2000 TV Schedule
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This
week the networks announced their schedules for the new fall season,
the most exciting lineup since last fall. Here are the highlights:
Now,
Again and Another Time (CBS, Saturday, 10 p.m.) In this spin-off
of the popular CBS drama "Now and Again," the genetically
enhanced Michael Wiseman is badly maimed and can only be saved if
his brain is placed in the engine of a Black Hawk assault helicopter
used for dangerous government missions. Despite his amazing resurrection,
he is still haunted by the knowledge that he can never see his wife
and daughter or in any other way utilize his visual cortex again.
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Who
Wants to Remain a Millionaire? (CBS, hourly) Hoping to emulate
the moderate success of ABC’s similarly titled program, CBS will
offer millionaire contestants the chance to keep everything.
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Big Sister (CBS, Wednesday, 8 p.m.) She's older than you, she's
stronger than you and, thanks to the latest surveillance technology,
she can now criticize every single move you make. Ten children between
the ages of five and eleven have been selected to share a bedroom
(and a bathroom!) with Melissa, a thirteen-year-old who's not handling
puberty well. Each week viewers will vote to eliminate the younger
sibling who cries the most.
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 Being
John Ritter (WB, Monday, 9:30 p.m.) Spike Jonze's surreal masterpiece
arrives on the small screen. An ambitious puppeteer enters the head
of a world famous actor for financial gain and romantic adventure.
Despite some minor budgetary concessions, this dark situation comedy
is essentially the same offbeat, quirky trip you remember from the
movie this past fall. Trust us. Yup, nothing different here. Well,
gotta run.
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Stark
Raving Mad (Fox, Thursday, 9:30 p.m.) This program gets another
crack at primetime on a different network. New gimmick #1: All characters
address the camera at various points in the show, often simultaneously.
New gimmick #2: Neil Patrick Harris is given the opportunity to win
a million dollars at the end of each show. New gimmick #3: If he loses,
he is shot.
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 MTV
Undercover (MTV, Saturday, 2 p.m.) MTV cameras follow three
Ohio State sophomores to sunny Panama City, Florida, as they take
a week off from classes to infiltrate the Cuban mob and expose a
car-stripping ring. As they gain the confidence of the crime syndicate's
top bosses, Sandra goes parasailing for the first time and Brooke
wins a free t-shirt by doing a tequila shot from Julie's cleavage.
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Dabney
Coleman Gets His Own Show (UPN, Friday, 10 p.m.) Remember "Madman
of the People," "Drexell's Class" or "The Slap
Maxwell Story"? Neither does UPN. This time, Dabney Coleman plays
an ornery bigot with a short fuse. Nathan Lane, Gloria Steinem and
Yaphet Kotto co-star as one-dimensional foils.
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 The
Race of Your Life (ABC, Thursday, 9 p.m.): The race is on! Who
will be faster? Who will receive the billions (yes, billions) of dollars
in prize money awarded to the victor? How will your own life be affected
by the outcome of this high-stakes all-or-nothing sprint to sequence
the human genome? These questions and millions more will hopefully
be answered by one of two biotech firms whose stock valuations are
currently in the toilet.
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The
West Wing: Special Victims Unit (NBC, Tuesday, 8 p.m.) The White
House is under siege—by sexual predators! And only President
Bartlet’s top staff members have the quick wit, liberal conscience
and elliptical dialogue to bring them to justice. But when Sam goes
undercover and videotapes himself having coked-up sex with two teenagers,
has he gotten too close?
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We've
Got Your Daughter (NBC, Thursday, 8 p.m.) NBC has your daughter.
All you need to do to get her back is come home to Must See TV on
Thursday. There you will receive further instructions. Don't try anything
funny. (It's cool to tell the police to watch.)
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That
'70s Show (Fox, Monday, 8 p.m.) Eric’s cousin, a photojournalist
living in Cambodia, is immolated by Khmer Rouge forces during an anti-American
protest. How will Eric cope? With the biting sarcasm and ironic wit
characteristic of today’s youth. Also, Fez buys a new lava lamp
and attends a SALT II conference.
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Sabrina
the Teenage Witch (WB, Friday, 9 p.m.) Sabrina celebrates her
18th birthday in style—getting her very own credit card and proclaiming
her sexual awakening in soft-porn spreads for such publications as
Maxim, Gear, Stuff, FHM U.S., FHM U.K. and Fast Company.
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Dateline
NBC (NBC, Wednesday, 10 p.m.) In an undercover investigation,
Dateline learns that people steal from one another. Is your family
at risk? A celebrity gives a tour of his home and reveals that his
personal life is pleasant.
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Daddio (NBC, Thursday, 8:30 p.m.) Don’t say you've seen this
before: single dad assumes responsibility for raising kids when wife
dies. Or are they divorced? Or is she a working mom? Or is she an
alien entity stored in a glass jar? We don't know either, but will
it really matter as you watch this big, dumb, loveable guy try to
get on the Internet for the first time? (We told you it was different.)
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Felicity
(WB, Wednesday, 9 p.m.) Felicity takes time out from worrying about
her future, agonizing about love, and engaging in campus activism
to examine a little-known facet of college life: writing a paper.
It is a good paper, though not her best work—an initial rough
outline certainly would have helped organize her thoughts. Her conclusion
is concise but is too much "tell me," not enough "show
me." Deep down, she knows a few more primary documents would
have bolstered her argument.
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Check
out our coverage of the
Fall 2000 TV Schedule
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All Rights Reserved.
Modern Humorist is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
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