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THE PRESIDENT
WOULD set up a war room in the White House, bringing
together the Joint Chiefs, the State Department and the
special effects wizards at Digital Domain. While the other
officials look on, Bush would guide director Jim Cameron’s
team in constructing an intricate scale model of Iraq and
detailed miniatures of American armaments. Dick Cheney would
drone on as Bush rearranged the model tanks in various configurations,
yelling, "Fire in the hole!" and "Go on without
me!" when appropriate. After much saber-rattling by
Israel and the Saudis, Saddam would pull back his forces.
Bush would learn of the developments after he emerged from
his war room a week later covered in sand and plastic trees.
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AL GORE WOULD take this opportunity to hold his first
presidential town hall meeting to gauge popular opinion
on the sanctions and practice smiling. Boy, would he get
an earful. Quickly putting a moratorium on town hall meetings,
Gore would line up a global coalition of allies and draw
a "line in the sand." The conflict would escalate
into a brief but destructive war that would leave Saddam
in power. An economic downturn would contribute to Gore’s
loss of the White House less than two years later. Campaigning
for his wildly popular daughter years later, Gore would
return to the public spotlight, crankier and more lax about
his grooming.
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