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“Their bedrooms are ‘ground zero.’ Translation? A total mess.
A student is disciplined? ‘It was total jihad.’
Petty concerns? ‘That’s so Sept. 10.’
It’s just six months since Sept. 11, but that’s enough time for the vocabulary of one of the country’s most frightening days to become slang for teenagers of all backgrounds, comic relief in school hallways and hangouts.”

The Complete Guide to 9/11 Slang
"Since homecoming, Melissa has turned into a total Rudy."
"I used to hate Melissa, but now I respect and am comforted by her."
"Ask Paul; he’s our Northern Alliance."
"Paul is over 21, and can obtain beer."
"He picked Mr. Roberts for Earth Science? Talk about flying out of Logan."
"In selecting Mr. Roberts for Earth Science, he made a really bad decision."
"How was the test?"
"How was the test?"
"The test was kind of hard."
"What, you haven’t heard about Stacey and Rick? You been livin’ in Shah-e-Kot valley?"
"As you are unaware of the well-known sexual antics between two popular classmates, you must reside in a cave in eastern Afghanistan."
"Sarah’s party? Total Pentagon. All the cool kids are going to Jack’s to take nitrous."
"Sarah’s party is much less a topic of conversation and concern, because a larger event has seared itself into our consciousness."
"Omigod, Ryan looks so Donald Rumsfeld in that FUBU sweater."
"Ryan is a total fox."
"You da carpet bomb!"
"Your selective destruction of a single target is well-nigh impossible."
"Dude, Justin pulled a total Cantor Fitzgerald in gym class today."
"Justin reneged on a promise to offer company profits to victims’ families and then tried to appease them with some hokey patchwork quilt."
"Mr. Finklestein’s jokes are, like, so box cutter."
"While the Trigonometry instructor’s quips are rather dull, they could result in the mass murder of nearly 3,000 Americans."
"I totally gave Stacey a pearl necklace."
"I went to Zales and bought Stacey a lovely pearl necklace."
"Five minutes after Stacey dumped Rick at Sarah’s party, Bridgette caught her giving Scott a rimjob in Sarah’s parents’ bedroom."
"Stacey is a skank ho."

More humor about things
that aren't funny:
Comedy Under Siege

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