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AS THE “NIGHTLINE” DEBACLE of several weeks ago proved, ABC is desperate for a younger audience in late night. But the problem isn’t Ted Koppel. The problem is that Ted Koppel isn’t naked. Now, before you get your superfluous clothes in a bunch, rest assured that turning "Nightline" into "Bustline" or having anchors drop anchor wouldn’t cost the program its journalistic integrity. As this historical timeline shows, nude news has a long and illustrious history—a tradition that will continue if Ted will show his Koppel:
2002
Audience for NakedNews.com—a web site where buxom babes and macho men wriggle out of their clothes while reading the news—reaches six million viewers a month.
1984
Notorious lothario Edwin Newman displays his chest hair during a Reagan-Mondale debate.
1962
Walter Cronkite appears on the set without slacks, coins the term "banana hammock."
1937
Edward R. Murrow delivers the news from a London rooftop. The heat from Nazi bombs makes him hot. Very hot.
1926
Hugh Hefner is born.
1844
Samuel Morse sends a telegraph message from Washington, D.C. to Baltimore, becoming the first man to conduct instantaneous long-distance communication in a G-string.
1648
Rise of Puritanism forces town criers to wear pants.
59 BC
The Romans establish a prototype of the modern newspaper called the Acta Diurna, an idiomatic Latin expression for "Pantsless."
443 BC
Sassy Greek historian Herodotus begins his epic work "History," developing early forms of prose, reporting and pasties.
13,000 BC
Cro-Magnon hotties peel off their bear skins while painting cave walls, becoming the first humanoids to attract the 18-to-34-year-old male demographic.


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