AS THE NIGHTLINE DEBACLE of several weeks ago proved, ABC is desperate for a younger audience in late night. But the problem isnt Ted Koppel. The problem is that Ted Koppel isnt naked. Now, before you get your superfluous clothes in a bunch, rest assured that turning "Nightline" into "Bustline" or having anchors drop anchor wouldnt cost the program its journalistic integrity. As this historical timeline shows, nude news has a long and illustrious historya tradition that will continue if Ted will show his Koppel:
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2002
Audience for NakedNews.coma web site where buxom babes and macho men wriggle out of their clothes while reading the newsreaches six million viewers a month.
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1984
Notorious lothario Edwin Newman displays his chest hair during a Reagan-Mondale debate.
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1962
Walter Cronkite appears on the set without slacks, coins the term "banana hammock."
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1937
Edward R. Murrow delivers the news from a London rooftop. The heat from Nazi bombs makes him hot. Very hot.
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1926
Hugh Hefner is born.
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1844
Samuel Morse sends a telegraph message from Washington, D.C. to Baltimore, becoming the first man to conduct instantaneous long-distance communication in a G-string.
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1648
Rise of Puritanism forces town criers to wear pants.
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59 BC
The Romans establish a prototype of the modern newspaper called the Acta Diurna, an idiomatic Latin expression for "Pantsless."
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443 BC
Sassy Greek historian Herodotus begins his epic work "History," developing early forms of prose, reporting and pasties.
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13,000 BC
Cro-Magnon hotties peel off their bear skins while painting cave walls, becoming the first humanoids to attract the 18-to-34-year-old male demographic.
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