Modern Humorist - Girl Gone Wild
Shop the MH Superstore!

Episode 2: Anna Nicole drunkenly crashes a book release party and attempts to go down on an extremely embarrassed Michael Chabon.
Episode 3: Anna endures heartbreak when she learns that her son has undergone extensive cosmetic surgery and changed his name in an attempt to distance himself from her televised antics. She soothes herself with an especially hilarious episode of "Spongebob Squarepants," and is soon blissfully unaware that she even has a son.
Episode 4: Anna delivers an impassioned, eloquent speech warning of the dangers of curtailing civil liberties in the name of heightened national defense.
Episode 5: For sweeps week, Anna meets The Osbournes. Much shuffling, slurring ensues.
Episode 6: Anna gets dressed. All by herself! She's a big grownup girl, yes she is!
Episode 7: In an emotional confessional, Anna reveals that she sometimes dyes her hair.
Episode 8: Anna eats three pairs of rhinestone-studded high heels, a curling iron and the entire Lane Bryant deconstructed denim line, before blowing a kiss to the camera and winking.
Episode 9: Anna expresses her disappointment at being the only overweight, drugged-out, washed-up former beauty not to be invited to Michael Jackson's birthday party.
Episode 10: Anna announces, for the fiftieth time this season, that she has not had sex for two years. Her assistants nervously claim that they hear their cell phones ringing in the next room and flee.
Episode 11: Anna suspects that perhaps the world is not laughing with her, but at her. Before she can do anything about it, her manager hands her a Vicodin-filled donut, and she soon obeys his request that she bathe in a swimming pool full of pudding.
Episode 12: Anna is lured into a doctor's office, then put down.

Also by Nathan Rabin:
Sport of Kings of the Jungle
Buy-outs Are a Girl's Best Friend?

Copyright 2011 Modern Humorist, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
Modern Humorist is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.