On April 24, 2000 ModernHumorist.com first appeared on the World Wide Web, featuring some comic material about Jesus and Jerry Springer. A year later, we realize that there is absolutely nothing funny about those subjects.
The last twelve months have been thrilling for us, and we’d like to take this opportunity to thank you, the readers of MH. Below, we present some of the feedback we’ve received from our fans during the past year. (All of these letters are real. Click on the "100% True" link above.) Meanwhile, stay tuned for news of a festive anniversary celebration, which will be taking place in late May in the New York area. Sign up for Banter, our weekly newsletter, for all the details.
The e-mail addresses from the following messages have been removed in the interest of privacy, and spelling and grammar have been left uncorrected. If you have any comments of your own about the first year of ModernHumorist.com, please send them to feedback@modernhumorist.com.
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Date: Wed, 07 Jun 2000 09:20:03 -0500
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: Jesus Now What?
Humor has its place and we all could use more of it in our lives. But the "Jesus now what?" site you have is not a place for it. To place our Lord and Savior in that context is not funny! These kind of things are exactly what gives our kids the ideas that respect is optional, no matter what the subject.
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Date: Wed, 07 Jun 2000 13:41:10 -0500
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: jesus what now
i did’nt get past the first question to know that this is pure trash . this should be removed !! if the developers of this site have ANY morals ,please remove it or change it. I WILL TELL EVERY ONE I KNOW TO BANTHIS AND ALSO I WILL PUT A MESSAGE ON MY WEB SITE ON THIS MATTER.
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Date: Wed, 07 Jun 2000 17:24:58 -0500
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: sacrelige
I consider myself a quick wit and a sense of humor that gets me in trouble frequently .However, the use of my savior to make fun of or to be the butt of your humor, I consider to be in extremely poor taste . I think a retraction is in order, along with an appoligy for offending Christians,such as myself. I will advise you not to leave your home during a storm any time soon,because I am sure your chances of being HIT BY LIGHTENING have greatly increased!!!!!! Donna
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Date: Wed, 07 Jun 2000 22:17:33 -0500
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: BE Careful!
I understand humor is an awesome way to enjoy and live life to the fullest. BECAREFUL when you talk about ‘what would Jesus do’ in an everyday life situation. READ your Bible. You should look to Jesus being 100% Man & 100% God. Your displace Jesus as being a worldy man. WRONG!!!!
NASCAR fan
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Date: Mon, 19 Jun 2000 10:52:14
To: <greatshows@falltv.net>
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to you from research department of the Islamic Republic of Iran's Broadcasting. I had a question and I will be so thankful if you can guide me in this regard. My question is: "What is the fix price for one second of advertising on your TV channel?" Thanks for your time and I will be waiting for your answer.
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Date: Sat, 24 Jun 2000 23:25:58 -0500
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: Birthday Cards for Prince William
Whoever dreamed up these cards is SICK,SICK.
What a mean, dirty minded bunch of louts conceived these?
This kind of garbage should not be allowed on A.O.L.
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Date: Sat, 23 Sep 2000 17:12:23 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: This site is pathetic.
Your website is woefully lame, and your feeble attempts at humor are pathetic. I hope this isn’t your actual career. Do not put stickers on my car, my house or my cat anymore, you rotten sons of bitches.
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Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2000 06:48:40 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: Stephen Kings Revenge
all I can say about your piece on Bryan Smiths autopsy is that some things are better left unsaid you people showed very POOR TASTE AND JUDGEMENT...Not only on behalf on Stephen King himself but especially on Bryan Smith...
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Date: Thu, 12 Oct 2000 10:19:32 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: FAQ: Suicide.
Utterly tasteless and insensitive, not to mention devoid of anything remotely approaching funny.
-klaw
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Date: Sun, 12 Nov 2000 17:11:30 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: First 100 Days Gore vs Bush
It’s obvious you are biased Democrats. You can poke fun at both of them but you don’t seem to understand/value the trait of honor and integrity. A very marked difference between Bush and Gore is that Bush has honor and integrity while Gore does not.
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Date: Sun, 26 Nov 2000 12:56:17 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: britney spears
do you eat shit because this site stinks and so does britney spears you can send this to her ok bitch and if you have a problem you can contact me at fuckyou@aol.com bitch
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Date: Wed, 29 Nov 2000 23:54:21 +0800
To: <banter@modernhumorist.com>
May I request that you discontinue sending me any notification unless there are no obscene humor or jokes. Thank you.
Cecile
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Date: Thu, 30 Nov 2000 16:53:37 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: DUH
Ok..I have to tell you this is the MOST fucked up web site Ive seen in awhile.. were you dropped on your head as a young child???... or did you just eat paint chips???... and just what do you have against baby names?? were you teased a lot in school or something??
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Date: Mon, 04 Dec 2000 17:30:48 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: Re: Harris/Jeb
I think your remarks concerning K. Harris and Jeb Bush are the lowest and dirtiest I have ever read. That is pure trash. Only a filthy mind would come up with such dirt.
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Date: Tue, 05 Dec 2000 12:43:04 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: this site makes me sick
What are you doing putting up baby names like “rapist”? are you demented? Some people are looking for genuine baby names and for you to make a mockery of that is disgusting. You should take the baby names sectiona off your site, I am sure you are wasting peoples time. I know you wasted mine.
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Date: Fri, 08 Dec 2000 13:14:07 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: gastriccrap
I didn’t realize what you were peddling on this site when I signed up for it. I don’t appreciate your sub-standard English nor your lack of conscience. You call it “modern”, but it is just trash.
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Date: Mon, 11 Dec 2000 15:25:27 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: Those names are TERRIBLE
I just would like to let you know how discusted I am with this site. I was going to look through the baby names to try and find out what I want to name my child, when all I was able to see where names such as, Lesbian, rapist, mentos,retardo, oh, whoops, flash, These names and meanings are VERY rude and offensive. I think that you may want to take a second look at them and rethink if they should be names for expectent mothers to choose from.
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Date: Sat, 16 Dec 2000 00:21:31 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: porn?? money or art??
why do you have porno on your site??? Is this for financial gain(sponsorship), or artistic reasons or other reasons please explain??
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Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 18:33:10 -0500
To: “‘feedback@modernhumorist.com’”
Subject: Newyorkermag.com
To whom it may concern,
I am trying to contact someone regarding an issue that contained a feature article on pro-skater Tony Hawk. The issue was on the stands in July of 1999 and I am trying to get a copy of it for a story we are doing. If you could help me out or lead me in the right direction I would greatly appreciate it.
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Date: Tue, 02 Jan 2001 05:24:20 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: your site
Your site would have to be the worst site I have visited on the net yet. You need to take a long hard look at yourself and wonder what it was you were really trying to achieve through this total waste of space. You have taken a very important aspect of expecting parents and made it into a total joke. I can only wish for one thing and that is that you are not a parent yourself and are actually responsible for someone else.
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Date: Thu, 4 Jan 2001 17:30:52 -0500 (EST)
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: Newyorkermag.com
To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing to inquire as to whether there are any internship opportunities at the New Yorker in the month of May. I am a senior at Scarsdale High School in Scarsdale, NY. My school gives seniors the opportunity to obtain “real-world” experiences by finding an internship or pursuing an independent study during the month of May. The moment I heard about this program, called Senior Options, I thought of the New Yorker. I am sure I want to do something in the literary/journalistic field, and the New Yorker seems the ideal choice for me. I have been devoted reader of the New Yorker for a few years now. There is no other publication that I devour so readily and read from cover to cover, savoring every word. From the clever covers, the in-depth analyses of relevant social issues, and the always fascinating critic-at-large, to the top-notch fiction, poetry, and cartoons, the New Yorker is a magazine truly unparalleled in quality and originality. I have loved writing fiction and poetry for as long as I can remember and relish the first-rate writing that the New Yorker consistently provides.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
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Date: Fri, 12 Jan 2001 20:39:03 -0800
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Your names are the stupidest and most offensive things I have heard. The web site is another story. It’s even more lame.
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Date: Sun, 14 Jan 2001 10:19:15 -0500
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: Stupid
Your website is so dumb and foolish..Come on..people are serious in looking for baby names..you all should get the fuck off.....Shit..
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Date: Fri, 26 Jan 2001 19:07:09 +0100
To: banter@modernhumorist.com
Jag har fått ditt mail, men kan tyvärr inte läsa eller besvara det idag. Jag är ledig under tiden 25/1-1/2. Åter fredag 2/2.
Hälsningar
Ola Lindgren
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Date: Sat, 27 Jan 2001 11:55:08 -0500
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: If you guys are funny then I’m fucking Albert Einstein
Star Saga = Piece of Shit.
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Date: Mon, 29 Jan 2001 00:53:10 EST
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: Newyorkermag.com
Re: The New Yorker, Sept 4, 2000. Would you, please, send me the first and last 8 pages that are not in my edition. I particularly enjoy the last page. I was out of state when this particular issue came. I was gone 4 of the last 6 months. I’m finally perusing my back issues. I am a subscriber. |
Date: Fri, 02 Feb 2001 13:52:41 -0500
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
You’re web site is a big joke! You suck people into your site as they’re trying to find a name for thier child and you give them CRAP in return. You’ve just wasted my time. You site is anything but “humorist”
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Date: Mon, 5 Feb 2001 09:14:07 EST
To: feedback@modernhumorist.com
Subject: William Steig - does he have an email address?
I would like to email Mr. Steig, if possible. I have a question.
Thank you.
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