COMING UP ON EPISODE FIVE
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The next episode of "Survivor" begins with a warning: "The
following show contains scenes of slaughter and bloodlust that
may be disturbing, particularly for the creatures being slaughtered.
Viewer discretion is advised, as is videotaping." Michael,
having whet his appetite for death last week,
is delighted to catch and hack up another wild pig, this one even
smaller and cuter. "This is some pig!"
he tells the tribe, smearing its innards on his face. "I know
because it said so on the spider web above his head. Also, I killed
the spider." As the nearby wildfire continues to rage, other
creatures are flushed into Mikes killing grounds include
Babe, Thumper and two Ewoks.
Kucha is eating well now, Kimmi wont stop whining about
the cuisine. "I dont eat mammals!" she shrieks, in
case no one heard her the first fifty times. "Why doesnt
somebody kill a worm? I can eat a worm!" Attempts to explain
to Kimmi that chickens are not mammals go nowhere. Nick tries to entice
her by again quipping,"Once you go dark meat, you never
go back." Then Jeff argues in favor of
cooking the male bird by declaring, "I love to eat cock."
Finally, Mike goes off to slay more animals for his unholy sacrifice,
but the tables are turned when he is set upon by a pack of specially-trained
wild boars that eat his face.
Scenes of Ogakor are preceded by another warning: "The
following tribe contains some of the dumbest people ever, even without
Mitchell." While the tribe attempts to extinguish the
wildfire using rockslides, dead wood and car batteries, Jerri tries
to woo Colby back
into the Union by explaining the importance of benefits and overtime
pay and by singing Woody Guthrie ballads. Jerri explains that the
Union is only the vanguard of broader social change and that a revolution
is coming, to be followed by a dictatorship of the proletariat. Colby
replies that his brain hurts and they
go off hunting. "Oh cowboy, you are all muscle,"
Jerri coos at him. "Especially your big long spear." Watching
them, Keith declares himself "miffeded and disgustified."
When they return, Jerri makes Colby give her a piggyback ride across the river so she wont melt.
The immunity challenge continues where last weeks reward challenge
puzzle left off. This time, the survivors compete to get
a giant ball on a string into a giant plastic cup, move a giant chain
into the shape of a giant guys nose, and use a giant magnet
to give a guy a beard made of giant iron filings. Kucha wins
easily as Ogakor struggles to remember which
part of the face is the nose.
At Tribal Council Jeff Probst begins
by saying, "I just want to observe that Kucha is making you its
bitch. Cant you losers do anything right?"
When the votes are counted, there is a tie: three
votes each for Amber and Eduardo. Told to make their cases before
the revote, Amber stuns her teammates by telling them shes weak
and tired and never gets any airtime anyway, so they might as well
vote her off. Eduardo says, "I agree.
Vote Amber off." When the votes are counted again, the result
is another tie. Although the rules say that any previous Tribal Council
votes are now added, neither Amber nor Eduardo has any prior votes
against them. ("Frankly, I never even noticed them before,"
Tina confesses.) Jeff Probst announces that the next stage is to turn
over the vote to the Supreme Court, which rules 5-4 that the
winner of the million dollars is George W. Bush.