We’re into the endgame now. The pulse-pounding, high-octane next episode features forty-five solid minutes of sitting around staring at the fire in silence and fifteen minutes of the following:
There are two immediate responses to Rodger’s departure. First, Colby pulls Elisabeth aside and lets her know that she can always come to him if she’s looking for a new Outback Daddy. Later, the remaining tribe members, moved by Kentucky Joe’s last minute revelation that he was not really a teacher but a bank CEO, make confessions of their own: The Colbster admits that he’s actually a native of Vermont. Tina explains that not everything on Reality TV is 100% real, which is why even as the rest of her shrinks away from starvation, her boobs remain exactly the same size. Keith confesses that despite his bold culinary experiments — What if we mix the brown rice with the white rice? — he’s also a bank CEO and not really a chef, which surprises exactly no one. Elisabeth sheepishly apologizes for all those mornings when she dampened the tent and blamed it on the rain, and Eduardo pulls off a mask and reveals that he too is really a bank CEO, not a Vegas showgirl. "And I would’ve gotten away with it," he snarls, "If it wasn’t for Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar and their damn dog."
For the reward challenge it’s back to the Internet Café. "We have three free hours remaining on our trial AOL account," Jeff Probst explains, "so we might as well use ‘em up." Once again, the contestants mist up as they think of their loved ones. "My husband is my very best friend," says Tina. "I’m conjoined with him," she adds ominously. "My mom and I have much more than a mother-son relationship," says Colby. "Kinda like Greg and his sister." Elisabeth sobs that her mom is her hero: "She survived breast cancer and chemo. She’s so strong. She always said she be horribly embarrassed if one of her children was a whiner who couldn’t handle being a little cold or hungry or… Oops!"
To win the challenge, the players must use the computers to ask their loved ones a series of challenging questions. Tina begins with the most obvious: "I have an iMac DV and I’m using a T1 connection from the Australian Outback. How do I install a software firewall using the new OSX protocols?" Then it’s Colby’s turn: "any hot fs 18-25 wanna chat? im me!!!" Finally Keith goes online with his girlfriend-cum-fiancé Artichoke and writes, "I just realized I forgot to attach this file yesterday!" It’s a prenup.
At Tribal Council one person is voted off and when another person jokingly ad-libs, "You are the weakest link! GOOD-bye!" a chill runs down the spines of everyone present, as though someone had walked on their graves.
